I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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