i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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