did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i love accidental penises.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
either way he was missing a nipple.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
