I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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