What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
