the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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