what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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