i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
