Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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