worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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