People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
