you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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