HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
