the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
