I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
