so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize