fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
