I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
