sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
