I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Found the puke drawer
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
