I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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