theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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