What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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