So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
