What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
