you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
