Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
