Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
