i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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