she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize