I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
