i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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