yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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