This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had sex on a roof
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
