They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
