Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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