M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize