one might say we're banned from that church
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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