No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
