we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
