So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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