I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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