I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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