He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
