Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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