Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize