i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
