Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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