Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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