what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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