I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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