I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
