He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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