therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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