we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize