we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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