never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
