Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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