Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
