Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
