when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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