is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
