Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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