I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
